Today I want to have a talk with you about something that is tough and something I’m asked about either out of curiosity or for their own purposes. That topic is long distance. When you’re dating, especially in college, there’s usually a time (or times) that you’ll face a physical separation in your relationship. I’ll be honest– it really sucks, and I don’t have all the answers.
However, when I did go through long distance with my boyfriend, I was constantly trying to seek advice from friends, so I wanted to try and share some of what I learned to try and help anyone else out there that is going through, or a about to go through, what I did.
Whether your time apart is one month, four months, or even a year I hope you can take something from this post and know that your feelings are valid.
This might seem like a basic first tip, but in order to really take your relationship long distance there has to be no doubt in your mind that the other person isn’t going to cheat, ignore you, or resent you. If you can’t find a way to trust that person fully when they’re right next to you, there’s going to be no way you can do it from 4,000 miles away.
2. Balancing communication
It’s normal to be talking throughout the day, and I don’t think there was a single day that we didn’t at least text each other. You should let them know your schedule, so that you feel up to date in each other’s lives, and not so much of an outsider looking in. It can be hard if there’s a huge time difference like we did, but putting in the effort to talk when your awake really makes the distance seem just a little bit smaller. On the other side of the coin, it can be hard if you feel smothered in communication. Something I’ll always be grateful for is that in my relationship he allowed me space if he knew I was travelling and wasn’t going to be able to really talk to much that day. I think it shows a lot of faith in that person too if you trust them to talk to you as soon as they’re able to because when your experiencing this distance it can be hard to go a whole day without talking or texting.
3. Be understanding
I touched on this a little in the above point, but it is so important to be understanding of each other. Your schedules aren’t always going to match, and some days you’re not going to feel like you’re on the same wave length at all. You have to take the good with the bad, and in my experience, and to offer some hope to all of you, there were far more good days than bad.
4. Give them something to feel a bit closer to you
I really loved getting something in the mail that reminded me that long distance had an end date and that despite only seeing each other on FaceTime, there was still a physical person on the other end. I know that sounds weird but being able to hold something from the other person really makes them feel much realer to you.Remember to subscribe!